Working mama - day 1 update

First, here's a super cute pic of Piper from the track when we were on vaca. That smile is at a horse, of course.


Moving on, I've been asked by numerous people how yesterday went so here's a quick update ...

Yesterday went well. Reid and I dropped off Piper at day care and she seemed totally at ease. She sat down with her new friends and had snack while we got her stuff taken care of and said goodbye. No drama, no tears, no problem. We walked out and of course I was an emotional mess, but managed to hold it together for the 10 minute drive downtown. Then I had a few minutes to kill so went to Reid's office and cried. But after that, it was off to work - be smart, learn quickly, and rock and roll.

The morning flew by, and then Reid came to ask me to lunch. So we went out, and while waiting for our food, called to check in on Piper. We heard from one of her teachers that she was doing super well, and had only cried when she had a poopie diaper change. Even more than that, she had buddied up with a boy named Finn (the two must have found their hippie names something to bond over) and they hadn't left each others' sides. So cute. We both felt better, of course, and after lunch, I went back to a crazy afternoon of feeling overwhelmed and exhilarated. Excellent.

Then I went to pick her up ... and this is where the guilt returns. Piper heard my voice before she saw me because the Director had engaged me in conversation when I walked in, so by the time I got to her room, she was sitting there, huge crocodile tears running down her face, sobbing her little heart out. The teachers said that she had a great day, but had been watching like a hawk as kids had started leaving over the past hour. With every parent that came and wasn't me, she was disappointed. Ugh ... so she was the second to last to leave (Finn was still there!), and clung to me like a stronger piece of velcro than we'd previously experienced. I knew she was tired, hadn't napped well, but she had produced a cute coloring project, a positive daily report, and was still in the same outfit. I think it probably was a good day for her, but I still felt guilty.

And then we come to today - a TERRIBLE day. Piper clung to me and cried nearly the entire day. She didn't really nap - maybe she was afraid she would miss something? - which didn't help matters either, but her mood was awful, and at so many moments of the day, she was completely inconsolable. ARGH .......... it made me feel terrible and question my decision to take this on. Was it fair to Piper? I thought working would make me feel good, but today it just made me feel like crap. I know there's an adjustment period, and I am hopeful all of this will get better, but I'm definitely dreading Monday's drop-off as much as Friday's, if not more, because I know Piper's going to realize what she's getting into as soon as we pull in the parking lot. Let's hope for a quick transition! Otherwise this guilt is going to eat me alive.