Swallowed by a whale

I've gone back and forth over whether or not to blog about this. I certainly don't want people's sympathy or pity (there's my cons list), but I also remember many people reaching out to me after I blogged about our first miscarriage and thanking me. Many people told me they learned a lot from our experiences, and honestly, if I can help someone else make it through a similar experience or help a friend/family member help their loved one cope through a terrible time, then that makes me putting our heartbreak out for all to read more than worthwhile. And so with that thought, I've decided to open up about our last 10 days ...

We'd been trying for about four months when we found out we were pregnant again. We were both super excited, but cautious. If we learned anything from our first pregnancy, it was that being blindsided with a loss is just about the worst feeling in the world. So I can say we went into this eyes wide open, but of course I was hopeful. You hear about first pregnancies failing way more than subsequent ones, but the fact remains (via my doctor and midwife) that 1 in 5 pregnancies fail. Being a typically optimistic person, I can see that 80 percent of pregnancies make it, but if you've been through the 1 in 5 before, you know that that 20 percent is a HUGE number.

We asked for, and were granted, an early ultrasound (we did the same thing with Piper) and both felt huge sighs of relief upon seeing the flicker of a heartbeat two Fridays ago. 164 beats per minute. Nice and strong. We had over an hour to wait until the appointment with the midwife so I came home and emailed some of my closest friends. Hooray! We were pregnant again.

I was stupidly confident.

At the appointment with the midwife, she told us that there was a pocket of blood visible on the ultrasound, which concerned her. She explained that sometimes this can be a normal occurrence with the development of the placenta (it was in between one end of the placenta and the uterine wall) that could be absorbed by the body. Or, it could be a sign that the pregnancy was eventually going to fail. Out the door flew our confidence; in flew fear. The good news was that I was really sick - throwing up some days, but generally nauseous and feeling awful from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. The midwife explained that those were hormones at work, which was good. The plan became to do another ultrasound in a week to make sure the baby was still growing. We both knew it would be an incredibly long week of waiting, but regardless of what the outcome would be, there was nothing we or any doctor could do.

Fast forward a few days to last Monday, when all of a sudden, I woke up and felt completely back to myself. No more nausea. No more tiredness. I had an internal freak out, thinking this was a sign that things had gone terribly wrong, but continued to try to be hopeful. After all, I had one friend whose sickness only lasted three weeks so the baby could be fine. Piper and I kept super busy while Reid was working to make the time fly, and Friday was once again upon us.

We returned to the practice and got set up in the ultrasound room. No heartbeat was seen in the first attempt, so we switched to an internal ultrasound for a better view. No heartbeat again - the baby had died. As much as I was somewhat expecting this, it still hurt more than one can imagine. I wanted to be hopeful, after all, we wanted this baby. We planned for this baby. I had an app on my phone to help with trying and peed on an ovulation kit stick every morning for crying out loud. We already loved this baby.

I wasn't able to have a d and c until yesterday morning, and spending the weekend knowing there was a dead baby inside of me was torturous. I wanted it out. I felt so gross. And it was messing with my subconscious and dreams, which made sleeping unrestful and aggravating. Friday night I dreamed that I could already feel the baby kick and woke up with my hand on my stomach and the awful realization that the opposite was true. The next night, Reid and I had an enormous fight in my dreams over a new car. In real life, we were planning on getting a different vehicle since I was pregnant, so the dream clearly had a root in our planning, but in the dream I had to keep yelling at Reid that "the baby was dead! We don't need a new car." Over and over again. I would wake up mad, and sad.

I've had brief moments of sadness, but I know the long road of grief is really yet to come. I am great at suppressing my feelings, but I don't want to do that this time. For Piper's sake, we need to deal with this and move on. I do find writing to be therapeutic so hopefully this will help me in addition to others, but I hate that we've lost another child and that we'll be planting another hydrangea in the spring to go with the one that represents our other lost baby. We threw out the first ultrasound picture we had with "BABY" written on it. I didn't want the reminder of what we had lost, not that I'll ever forget it.

I will say that being sad around Piper is pretty much impossible. She has no clue what has gone on in our lives (for which I'm thankful) and spent the weekend running around our house with a huge smile on her face. Hugging her fills me with warmth. We are so blessed and lucky to have her - and while she does serve as a distraction, she's way more than that. She is the best and I will never take her for granted.

How is it mid-November?!

Is it possible that so much time has gone by that I didn't even post after Piper's 15 month checkup?! ARGH. Well, the good news is, my available free time is once again back to sparse instead of nonexistent so I'm putting blogging back onto my to-do list.

Looking back over a MONTH, Piper had her 15 month checkup. Her stats were as follows ...

Height: 32.5 inches - 95 percentile

Weight: 25 pounds - 90 percentile

Head circumference: 18.5 inches - 75 percentile

I can report that she's up to 26 pounds, 12 ounces from her appointment last week, when she went in with conjunctivitis in both eyes and a sinus infection that had come back after one round of antibiotics. Antibiotic eye drops (torture for everyone involved) and another heavier duty antibiotic later, she's doing much better!

At this point, the election was almost two weeks ago ... and while it didn't end favorably (the electorate in our district chose a soldier instead of a businessman to solve economic issues - go figure), it was a unique experience and I'm glad I gave it a shot. After four and a half weeks, Piper finally adjusted to daycare - in fact, she began to love it! She went back to being a solid sleeper and returned to her usual chipper self. It was amazing to have her back! And so much less of a burden on me - I had way less guilt once she began really enjoying herself. And now, even though work is done, she continues to go to "school" one day a week. Sometimes I feel guilty about this, but honestly, I think it's great for both of us. She loves it, gets a full day of socialization with her friends, and I have some time also. I've had two of her school days so far and both have been spent primarily cleaning, but I did spend a bit of time reading on Friday and it felt so nice. And I knew she was having a good time too so I didn't feel badly about it.

So how was working? Well ... I'm not rushing back into it. There were times when it was rewarding, times when it was frustrating, and times when I just couldn't figure out why the heck I was doing it other than I wanted to give it a try and I believed in the project. Overall, it just isn't worth it to me at this point. Even though I enjoyed the work, my life wasn't any more full, any more complete, with me going to work three days a week. It was cool to see Bill Clinton speak in Saratoga, and I felt privilidged to meet two Cabinet members (secretaries of agriculture and commerce), but I would rather be home with Piper most of the time. I'm not going to say that I won't go back to work - and if a unique project presents itself again, I will certainly take a good look at it before I decide how to proceed, but I'm not going to be sending out any resumes anytime soon.

Piper's just a blast. She toddles all over the place, and probably her favorite type of activity is an art project. She loves to color (especially with markers), finger paint even more, and sidewalk chalk on beautiful days is a must. She makes me laugh (like her daddy) so many times every day and I'm simply just crazy about her still. She's super vocal, although most of what she says is still incomprehensible, but every once in a while she totally surprises me and will come out with a complete sentence. The other day, she walked to the coat closet, stood in front of it, pointed at it and said: "This is a closet." Why yes it is, Piper! So cute.

Oh, and today, she peed on the potty. When I went to the bathroom this morning, she showed interest in getting on the toilet too, so I went and got out the frog potty we had from the basement. She sat on it, but nothing happened. Then after breakfast out at Papa's diner, and Church, we came back home and she again showed interest when Reid had to use the bathroom. So I put her back on the potty, and low and behold, she peed! And peed a ton. She was greatly rewarded with several chocolate chips, and has since sat on the potty multiple other times without any activity. I know she's too young to be potty trained, but hey, if she's into it, we'll give it a shot.

I'm sure I'm running out of time as Piper has been sleeping now for an hour, but one of my favorite things that we did this fall was to go to Ellms Family Farm in October. It was a bit chilly, but it was SO fun. I'll end this blog with some of my favorite pics from that day ...

She kept pointing at the cow's head and saying "mooo."

At the bottom of the 70' slide:

Giant bouncing pillow!

Riding bikes with Daddy...

Going down the 15' slide all by herself! Daddy watching over ...

As much as we tried to get her to stand still, this was the best we could do ...

It was so much fun and I can see it getting even better when she's bigger. We'll be returning next year!

3 weeks in and ...

I remember going to Sky Acres Girl Scout camp for a week when I was 7 or 8, and on day 3, hating every minute. It was night time, I was supposed to be sleeping and couldn't, and found myself crying in the counselor's tent, begging them to let me call my parents. "They're night owls, I promise they're awake until 11." Needless to say, they didn't let me call, so I finally went back to my tent and cried myself to sleep.

I also remember getting home after having the BEST time ever. So day 3 sucked, but from then on it was all fun and games and was well worth the one night of being homesick.

Three weeks into this part-time job, I keep waiting for the day 3 feeling to end, and for Piper to move onto the next stage of transition - acceptance and happiness! Starting the first night of my job, and thus, day care, she stopped sleeping through the night. Every night since 20 nights ago, except for two days on a weekend (and one was at my parents' house when we weren't there), she has been up multiple times, screaming her head off, absolutely pissed off at the world. We're all exhausted and could use a good night's sleep. I had forgotten how debilitating sleep deprivation is ... there's a reason why this is used as torture because it makes everything else about the rest of the day more difficult. UGH.

My first day was a Friday, and that whole weekend she was so mad at us that she would crawl away from us and try to hide. That Sunday, I picked her up from a way to short nap and she tried to wiggle out of my arms, so I put her down and she crawled into her closet and started banging her head into the wall. All I wanted to do was cry. I couldn't soothe her, she was clearly emotionally distressed, and why was I doing this again? Luckily, she's stopped the head banging. She's still super clingy, which got worse with her being away from me three days a week, and now she cries at soon as we pull into the day care parking lot, but they tell me that she has a good day once I leave. Well, except yesterday, when her report said that she "Had a hard day and was mean to her friends." Specifically, she was hitting and pulling hair. I think it's because she had a 101.6 fever when I picked her up and was sick ... which brings me to my next subject.

As expected, Piper has been working on her immune system as a result of being in day care. I missed my third day of work because she had literally fountains of snot running down her face. And today we went to the doctor's where she was diagnosed with coxsackievirus.The poor little thing has sores on the inside of her mouth ... plus her molars are still wreaking havoc on our lives. Awesome.

So how's the job going? Fine, but like I said, I'm waiting for "day 3" to be over. And if it's not over by the end of this (November 2!), and we all aren't feeling well rested and happy again, then the odds of me going back to work again until Piper and her potential future sibling are in school are pretty much zero. It's simply not worth it!

One fun update is that Piper is walking all over the place. I'm trying to think of when this started ... I think it was a couple of weeks ago. That may be a positive development from day care - the peer pressure finally pushed her into the land of the walkers with crawling now a thing of the past!

And just so I always remember, the pic above is from the balloon festival last weekend and is one of my new favorites. I love how happy they both look :-) We had to be up at 4:50 to get there in time to see the 90+ balloons take off with the sun, but it was well worth it!

Working mama - day 1 update

First, here's a super cute pic of Piper from the track when we were on vaca. That smile is at a horse, of course.


Moving on, I've been asked by numerous people how yesterday went so here's a quick update ...

Yesterday went well. Reid and I dropped off Piper at day care and she seemed totally at ease. She sat down with her new friends and had snack while we got her stuff taken care of and said goodbye. No drama, no tears, no problem. We walked out and of course I was an emotional mess, but managed to hold it together for the 10 minute drive downtown. Then I had a few minutes to kill so went to Reid's office and cried. But after that, it was off to work - be smart, learn quickly, and rock and roll.

The morning flew by, and then Reid came to ask me to lunch. So we went out, and while waiting for our food, called to check in on Piper. We heard from one of her teachers that she was doing super well, and had only cried when she had a poopie diaper change. Even more than that, she had buddied up with a boy named Finn (the two must have found their hippie names something to bond over) and they hadn't left each others' sides. So cute. We both felt better, of course, and after lunch, I went back to a crazy afternoon of feeling overwhelmed and exhilarated. Excellent.

Then I went to pick her up ... and this is where the guilt returns. Piper heard my voice before she saw me because the Director had engaged me in conversation when I walked in, so by the time I got to her room, she was sitting there, huge crocodile tears running down her face, sobbing her little heart out. The teachers said that she had a great day, but had been watching like a hawk as kids had started leaving over the past hour. With every parent that came and wasn't me, she was disappointed. Ugh ... so she was the second to last to leave (Finn was still there!), and clung to me like a stronger piece of velcro than we'd previously experienced. I knew she was tired, hadn't napped well, but she had produced a cute coloring project, a positive daily report, and was still in the same outfit. I think it probably was a good day for her, but I still felt guilty.

And then we come to today - a TERRIBLE day. Piper clung to me and cried nearly the entire day. She didn't really nap - maybe she was afraid she would miss something? - which didn't help matters either, but her mood was awful, and at so many moments of the day, she was completely inconsolable. ARGH .......... it made me feel terrible and question my decision to take this on. Was it fair to Piper? I thought working would make me feel good, but today it just made me feel like crap. I know there's an adjustment period, and I am hopeful all of this will get better, but I'm definitely dreading Monday's drop-off as much as Friday's, if not more, because I know Piper's going to realize what she's getting into as soon as we pull in the parking lot. Let's hope for a quick transition! Otherwise this guilt is going to eat me alive.

A new adventure

I look back at the last 6 or so weeks and can say that it was filled to the brim with activities that are cherished during a northeast (read that as too short) summer: swimming, boating, playing outside, getting tan and lighter hair (Piper too!), and eating delicious summer food. We went to Burlington, I had a girls' weekend in the Hamptons. We took vacation and went to Essex, Lake Placid, Middlebury, and a Sugarland concert in NH. There are literally hundreds of pictures from the last part of this summer (one of my favorites being the one above) and we're going to love looking through them for years to come. Here are a few more ... (and if blogger wasn't such a pain to upload to, there would be WAY more, but I digress ...)



So now summer has pretty much come to an end ... what better time to start a new adventure? I wasn't looking for a job, but one was offered to me last week. At first, my reaction was no way. I love staying home with Piper - and what if I miss when she finally turns into a full time walker? That transition, by the way, has taken forever! She will walk for literally an hour (and did so at the Hyde Musuem last week) with one finger, but still maxes out on 10 or so steps on her own. Anyway, I also have learned in life that even if the initial reaction is no, you should always learn more. If we hadn't, we wouldn't have moved back to NY almost four years ago! So I learned more, and once I did, I got really excited about the position. And almost immediately after that, really guilty. I felt terrible for wanting to do something else other than care for Piper, which may seem rational or irrational, depending on the reader. That was almost a week ago, and today I accepted the position. It's great because it's three days a week and ends with the upcoming election so I can dip my toe into the water of being a working mom and see how it goes. It was a really hard decision to make because of the back and forth feelings, but in the end, I think it'll be fun for me to see if my brain still works and I do think day care will be a great experience for Piper. We checked out where she'll be going today and it was an overwhelmingly positive experience. She cried when we left! To me, that cleared the guilt away. So starting Friday, I'll be the new communications director for our congressman, Scott Murphy. I'm really excited about the opportunity and curious about how the next eight or so weeks will go. So please wish me, and more importantly Piper, lots of luck!

First steps!

I had a feeling it would be soon, but not only a couple of hours after I posted ... Piper took her first steps today! We were at a play date with our friends Scotty and Eliza, and Piper stood up, took three steps, and then plopped down. Then she took a couple more steps in our kitchen when I was making dinner. So exciting!!! Bring on the walking!

1-year visit stats!

Yesterday Piper had her one year well visit so we have her latest stats! Yes, she has grown a ton ...

Height: 31 inches - 92 percentile
Weight: 24 pounds, 3.5 ounces - 90 percentile
Head circumference - 18 inches - 60 percentile

I thought she had actually slimmed down a bunch with all of the stretching out that she has done, but the numbers don't lie. She's still a very well-proportioned big lady :-)

She also has a new trick! I think she felt like she had to step it up a bit because her cousins came to visit last week, and Ravel took her first steps while she was here. Piper, feeling behind her younger cousin, decided that it was about time that she started standing up in the middle of the room (without pulling up on anything). I wish I could put into words the pride that's in the smile on her face when she stands up like a big girl, but I don't think I can. It is hilarious and makes me proud all at once! Next step will likely be steps, and likely soon. Yesterday, she shifted her weight to one foot and picked up the other, but then promptly sat down hard on her fanny. I think we're about the enter the stage when she's covered with bruises all the time from her learning bumps, so if you see us and are concerned, I swear we don't beat our child.

Back to the cousins visit! It was great, and so much fun to see how they've all grown. Like the last visit, we were reminded that it's nearly impossible to get a picture of the three of them smiling. In fact, we were completely unsuccessful, but they are all sitting on the same step and you can see their faces so that's as good as we're going to get this trip. Maybe next time!

Even cuter though was Piper showing Ravel love before our photo shoot, with a big kiss and a hug for her cousin ...

We swam in the pool a bunch, went boating and worked around three different nap schedules. Here are a couple more pics of the kids on the boat.


I swear there were smiles, although I seem to have missed all of them!

Last quick update for this post ... Piper seems to have become a napper! She still takes her one snooze a day, but it has begun to stretch out to where it's consistently more than an hour. It's amazing what I can get done in that time, and also amazing how much better her afternoon is after a good snooze. I LOVE it.

Okay one more update, which Reid reminded me of after my last post. One of the cutest things she does right now is play the "Hello" game with Reid. She says, "Hi Dad" or "Hi Daddy"; he answers, "Hi Piper". And it goes back and forth many many many times. I know it's a highlight of his day - and seeing the smiles on both of their faces is certainly a highlight of mine.

Piper turns ONE!!

Technically Piper turned one yesterday, but it was such a terrible day that I simply couldn't post. Luckily, her birthday party on Sunday was a lot of fun :-) Although that didn't start off very well either ...

Rewind to Sunday, 4th of July, and the day of Piper's big party. Piper awoke at 5:45 with a fever of 102.1. Her first real fever and quite a time for it! After a dose of ibuprofen, I called the pediatrician's emergency line and was relieved to find out that the doc on call was Piper's regular pediatrician. I spoke with her, and she said that as long as Piper's fever came down, we could party on. Luckily, the fever came down and the show went on. Here she is at about 7:30 ... getting amped up for the afternoon with her Elvis face.
I will say that Piper wasn't in a great mood all day, but she put her best foot forward for coming down with a nasty virus. There were few smiles, and she didn't do nearly as much damage to the cake as I thought she was going to, but there were also no tears so no complaints from this end. Overall, it was great to see family and friends and celebrate such a huge milestone in Piper's life! Here are some cake pics ...

Actually Piper's favorite part of the day (I think it's her favorite part of every day), preceded cake - pool time! Here she is with her cousin Ellen, stealing Ellen's beer. We had to remind her that she was ONE, not 21 ... and then she also loved being a big girl on her own float. So cute!


And let me tell you, I am so thankful for our pool! It has been hotter then hot and disgustingly humid all week and our pool time is the highlight of both our days. Especially yesterday when Piper was totally out of sorts. She started off yesterday at 3:30 am coughing and crying. The only place she would sleep was on me, so from then until almost 7, she would sleep for a bit at a time, in between coughs, while I lay in our guest bed with her, trying to will myself to sleep. I wasn't super successful, which made the rest of the day for both of us a challenge! We went to the doctor's first thing in the morning and she was diagnosed with croup, which is apparently going around right now. The rest of the day she was in a terrible mood (as was I) and had her worst day of behavior ever. She bit me many many many times throughout the day ... basically threw tantrums all day since she only wanted things that she couldn't play with (my sunglasses, etc). Man it was a tough day and I was so depressed at the end as I felt like I spent her entire first birthday either trying to soothe her (unsuccessfully) or disciplining her. Not what I had envisioned, but another time when I am reminded that you just have to be flexible in life, especially with kids! She was exhausted and went to bed at 6. Reid and I went to bed at 7:30, both with sore throats and feeling terrible. Quite a day indeed, but today was better (for Piper and I, not for Reid though - boo) and hopefully tomorrow will be even better! I'm excited for her to kick this virus so we can see our friends again and have some fun.

Looking back over the year, so much has changed, in such crazy ways. And even though yesterday was tough, she is incredible. There have been many challenges, especially the sleepless nights for the first few months, but I would do them all over again many times over to have the amazing and simply FUN daughter that we have. Every day she cracks me up. Either with a giggle, a mischievous smile, diving into the pool, or any of her other little quarks. I'm proud to have her as our daughter and am excited to see what this year brings. Happy birthday, Piper!! We love you :-)

Big muscles

My friend Rhonda always rewards the kiddos trying to walk by saying "look at your big muscles ____!" and I love it. I now say it ALL the time, as Piper is getting closer and closer to taking her first big steps. Today we were at the library and she was a champ, standing up on her own and listening to the stories. Beyond that, nada yet, but she pushes her lion around everywhere (porch, driveway, lawn) with what I would describe as gusto. Maybe her birthday present to herself will be using her big muscles!!

I can't believe she's going to be ONE in six days. The fact that this huge milestone will soon be upon us leaves me both excited and flabbergasted. A year! 365 days! Insane, but I'm so happy to celebrate with her too :-)

It's been a month since I've posted and Piper has just been growing and learning like crazy. She said "snack" today when I gave her a snack cup this morning and I think she has a molar coming in on the top left. She crosses her feet almost all the time (whether she's sitting in her highchair, laying down drinking her bottle, in her stroller, sitting Indian style on the floor, etc) and her legs have stretched out like crazy. We are loving our play dates and the babies are almost playing with each other - which sometimes means pushing each other over or pulling hair, but they're all definitely way more aware of each other. All in all, we are having SO much fun, and I can't believe I'm even going to write this, but Piper is almost making parenting seem easy because we are having so much fun. We're swimming almost every day, she's playing her sandbox and going down her slide. She goes and goes all day, but you can just tell that she's loving every minute of it - and if she is, then how can I not? I thought I would miss work more than I do ... there are days when I miss the rush of a deadline, or the thrill of landing a story in a big pub, but I can't imagine doing anything else other than what I'm doing right now. I've had to readjust my ideas of what's rewarding and what an accomplishment is, but almost a year in, I think I'm getting it and I love it.

And now that I've said that, Piper will go through some huge changes and throw everything for a loop. We shall see!!

Shy pie

I was in the car yesterday with my dad and Reid and my dad says, "I wonder if the little girl used her swing today." Reid said, "You know, Bert, you're right. She's a little girl, not a baby anymore."

Insert sad face here.
Well, kind of. I mean, look at that face! At almost 11 months, she is definitely way more of a little kid than a baby, but at the same time, she's so much fun now and seems to be enjoying life so much that I'm more excited than sad to see her grow and learn. Bye bye baby!

We spent this memorial day weekend in Middlebury (that's Lake Dunmore in the background - pic from this morning) and Piper was nothing but charming. Her latest is that she acts shy (or is it coy?) when she sees and interacts with people. She smiles, then puts her head down very quickly as if to hide. It may get old at some point, but it's absolutely adorable for now. And she spent the weekend trying to say "dog", which will be her first word outside of Dada, Mama and Nana. She got close, but the cutest part was that every time she tried, it was in a very excited tone. And she is dying to walk! This weekend she was "crawling" on her hands and feet (kind of like a monkey), looking awkward and taking a few tumbles. She cruises on everything, loves to walk with us, and I don't think it's going to be too much longer before we have a biped on our hands. Some people have warned me that I'll wish I could shove her back in (I was literally told this by a neighbor) once she starts to really go, but I'm pumped for it! I can't wait to see the pride on her face and I think it'll make playing with her even more fun. Maybe I'll eat my words, but for now, I can't wait.

One last note, Piper loves blackberries ...

Independent woman

I just put Piper down, after lowering her crib to the lowest setting because Little Miss is trying to pull herself up on everything now. In the bathtub, in her pack and play, in her crib, on the furniture, me, everything. Probably the best part about the pulling up is the look of pride on her face when she's successful. Priceless. Probably the worst part is her not feeling comfortable getting herself back down, which is why we found her screaming her head off at 3 am last night standing up in her crib. Hope she figures that part out soon!


Pulling herself up is cool and all, but my favorite new skill is hugging. She gives the BEST hugs - she squeezes super hard with the biggest smile on her face! And today there were lots of hugs and kisses combos. The weather may have sucked today - cold and rainy - and Piper may have been fussy for most of it due to the middle of the night play session she had, but honestly big squeezes and super sloppy kisses made up for all of that :-)

And while you can't see them in the picture above, Piper went from two to seven teeth during the week after I blogged last. Needless to say, it wasn't my favorite week of all of time, but I guess better to just bang them all out at once! She now has all four top front teeth and her left lateral incisor, which means she's able to take serious bites out of both food and non-food items. I found this out the hard way when I gave her my apple core last Friday to chew on when we were at a play date (which I've done a ton of times before with no issue ...). She bit the whole top of the core off. Luckily Reid was watching her more closely than I and we fished it out right away, but no more cores for Piper! Instead, it'll be bring on the bbq. Mmmmm ... ribs ...

She's also way into the water now - both in the pool and in the bath tub. She absolutely loves it! And while this definitely gets me psyched up for summer - we will definitely be swimming together every day that it's nice - it also freaks me out with the pool in the backyard. We're going to have to be SO careful ... and she's going to have to learn that she only goes in with us. But for now, I'm going to enjoy the huge smiles on her face as she dives into the pool at me or Reid and kicks and splashes all over the place. She doesn't usually rock the bikini, but her friend (and supposed future boyfriend according to his parents) Thomas was visiting so she decided to work it a bit. Check out that belly. Freaking awesome.
You can probably tell by the look on her face that she has quite the personality. She's already a bit of a drama queen and I predict will throw some huge tantrums in her day, but what's coming out the most right now is her independence. Standing up is part of that, but the other big deal is what she's eating. It is such a bear to feed her baby food now. She just wants to feed herself. Some days I worry that this means she's not getting everything she should be eating, but the fact is she's still growing so I can't worry too much about it. And this means some days she eats a lot (like last night's pasta with pesto, grilled chicken, roasted tomatoes with peas dinner), and other days, she barely eats (like today's lunch out at Rock Hill with Scotty and Eliza). It used to stress me out, but now I just go with it. If she's hungry, she'll eat, and I better just have lots of finger foods ready for her!

9 months!

While Piper turned 9 months last Tuesday, she didn't have her checkup until today ... so here are the latest stats!

Height: 28.5 inches - 85 percentile
Weight: 21 pounds, 12.5 ounces - 90 percentile
Head circumference - 17.5 inches - 50 percentile

I did have a friend ask today if they measured her thighs to see where those stood - I'm pretty sure those would be off the charts.

And honestly I can't believe how much she's changed since my last post. She's sitting up from laying down on her own (she actually did this for the first time the day of my last post and I just spaced it), and now she's doing it very gracefully and super often. It's very cute :-) She's also progressed from army crawling to real crawling, as of yesterday in fact! She still relies mostly on the army crawl/rolling combo for most of her mobility, but the fact that she's doing more than rocking now is pretty huge. And she waves and claps (I guess she was doing both of these before last time - sorry, Piper, I'm not doing a great job of chronicling everything!). She also says Nana and Mama (Nana before Mama ... grr), and Hi sometimes when she waves. She's a finger food pro at this point, with any kind of pasta being her favorite. Today, for example, she ate a huge portion of spinach and cheese ravioli at lunch. She LOVES to eat - a girl after my own heart.

And speaking of eating, there's also been a big change in terms of nursing - Piper weaned herself! A couple of days ago, she started biting when she was nursing (OUCH - yes, it was painful and crappy for me), and when I scolded her for it, she would dissolve into tears, but then do it again. So we've moved onto all bottles and she's super happy about it. I think a lot of it is that it's WAY faster, so she can get back to being busy sooner, and it's immediate gratification for her effort. As our pediatrician explained today, she now lacks the patience to nurse, which is totally normal (she said most kids will self-wean between 9 and 12 months), and would rather be onto bigger and better things. Even though we had our challenges with nursing,I was bummed about her weaning at first. I'd set a goal for myself of a year of breast milk, and with her onto just bottles now, I don't think we'll make it. I can't pump the amount of milk she drinks each day and this bummed me out a bit - after all, I am super goal oriented. But now I've come around and I feel good about it. After all, Piper is happy! We don't have to go through any sort of weaning drama and she's happy and healthy. Perfect. I bought my first can of formula today and we're going to try a bottle of that tomorrow. I'm going to keep pumping twice a day for now, but at some point, she's going to be on all formula before 12 months comes and that's A-okay.

So anyway, LOTS of changes are happening around here. I guess that's par for the course with an infant this age, but going through it all for the first time is unbelievable. It really is incredible!

Oh, and according to our pediatrician, she's cutting an entire mouthful of teeth right now. She's had two pop through in the last five days (upper right front and upper left lateral incisor) and has a LOT more in the works. Luckily, these teeth (knock on wood) have been way easier than the bottom two. She had one fussy day, but has continued to sleep through the night, and for the most part, be happy. She just rocks. I honestly can't get over it, or get enough of her :-)

Boston or BUST

Since it is Easter, and Piper's first Easter at that, I feel like I should post a couple of pictures of her with her Easter basket before we back up to last weekend's Boston trip. Between you and me, she's actually been enjoying playing with the eggs in the basket all week, but it was like she had just discovered them for the first time again this morning so I don't think she really minded. And this was the first time she got to play with the grass, which was probably her favorite part anyway!

And of course she had a cute dress for the day - the sweater was dumped due to the simply gorgeous weather! And who doesn't love playing with a diaper? Honestly sometimes I don't know why we ever buy her toes ...

Ok, so back to Boston.

I will say the trip was book ended with some less than ideal traveling behavior by the peanut. Gone are the days when Piper gets in the car, immediately falls asleep, and wakes up when we get somewhere. Now the lull of the engine only serves as background noise to either playing, screaming, and very occasionally, snoring. We had plenty of screaming both ways, but luckily the actual time spent in Boston rocked.

We arrived Thursday evening, giving Piper and I all day to have fun on Friday while Reid had meetings. First we visited Waggener Edstrom, where I worked pre-Piper, and it was so much fun because the last time these ladies say Piper was when she was just over two months old. This time, her personality was bursting at the seams! Next we headed to the Children's Museum for lunch and then two and a half hours of playing. Two and a half hours! Piper was in absolute heaven. We literally spent 99 percent of our time in the "crawler" section of the 0-3 room, where they had a wall of mirrors, a fish tank, a circular water bed hang out place, toys and other babies. Piper played and played until we had to leave before a meltdown happened from exhaustion. It was great to see her having so much fun!

And then Friday night was a little piece of heaven: Reid took care of Piper while I went out to dinner with two of my best girl friends. It was the first night I've gone out solo since Piper was born, and while I love her like crazy, it was so nice to get a little break and hang out with my friends. Thank you, honey!!

Saturday included a lot more activity. First brunch with our friends Julie and Rob, whom we stayed with for they weekend - exposing them to parenthood. They were definitely troopers, not batting an eye as baby crap exploded all over their apartment, and luckily Piper was super well behaved the whole time! Then it was off to Somerville to visit our friends Jay and Julie and their new (seven days!) arrival Lucy. She was teeny tiny and super sweet. Piper looked like a massive child comparatively, but I think we all enjoyed it because Reid and I got an infant fix and Jay and Julie got a glimpse into life becoming more normal than just sleepless nights with a very needy lump who you give and give and give to and don't get anything in return. I mean newborns are great, but it's a good thing they get bigger and turn into little people!

And from there we headed up to Malden where we had a play date with our friends Mary and Tim (and Stella) and Jasmine (and Mariko). At that point Piper was pretty exhausted, but with a little bit of food in her, she perked up and had a great time rocking out with her friends. Keep in mind she'd slept about 20 minutes all day at that point ... her stamina is unprecedented. Stimulate her and she will NOT give in to exhaustion.

And this picture sums up why Stella and Piper were the chunks at the play date. Stella stole the bag of puffs out of Piper's diaper bag - she knew what those little pieces of heaven were. In the picture, I'm pretty sure Piper just noticed what Stella had. Mine!

That night, Julie and Rob hosted an amazing dinner party and Piper charmed the pants off of people, clearly. Man, I'm getting tired just recounting our weekend! But the dinner party rocked - and it rocked that Piper went down at 8 and gave us the rest of the night to just hang out with friends and have fun. The next morning was brunch and then we were off. Exhausted but exceptionally happy after spending a bunch of quality time with friends we love!

A BIG day!

Wow. At this age, people say that babies learn something new every day. Well today must have been an extra special day because Piper was on fire!

We had swimming lessons today, and while she's loved it before, she just totally blossomed. She was holding her breath and putting her face in the water, kicking like crazy, splashing when told to, and spitting out water instead of drinking it. She rocked it out in swimming lessons.

Then Reid came home for lunch, and when he stepped onto our screened in porch with a load of wood (SO gross and rainy today), Piper saw him, smiled, and said Da-da. She's babbled da-da a thousand times before, but this was the first time she's put the word with the actual person before. Adorable.

Then we're playing this afternoon and she army crawls! Her motivation was the fake plastic eggs that I took out of her Easter basket. She saw those little plastic pieces of heaven in front of her and pulled her way forward. Again, adorable.

And then when we were having dinner tonight, she was a sign language maven. Signing for "more". Signing for "all done." Letting us know when she wanted a "drink." And clearly very happy with her ability to communicate! She also told me when she wanted to eat this afternoon by signing for "more" while whining and then "hungry."

Seriously? She did about a week's worth of learning today. Maybe she was making up for other days, but each individual thing was amazing! Can't wait to see what she does tomorrow :-)

And I definitely need to blog about this past weekend's trip to Boston because it ROCKED. And I have so many pics that I want to post! In the meantime, the one at the beginning of the blog is from tonight, before she got in the tub (after peeing on the counter top). Check out those thighs - they are pretty incredible. And here's one of my favorite pics from Boston - of Piper admiring her balloon that Reid just had to buy her at CVS. Seriously, it may be the best $4 he ever spent ...

My little reader

This is how cute Piper is: we're driving back from Saratoga today, and when we're stopped at a stop sign, I happen to look back to see what she's doing in her car seat that's keeping her happy. Well, she has her Water Water Everywhere book (great for the car because she can eat it all she wants and she can't hurt it) and she is babbling and flipping the pages of the book as if she was reading it. And you could see the pride on her face (in the mirror since she's still rear facing). I wish I could have captured the moment with video, but instead I'm going to have to burn it into my brain forever because it was absolutely priceless.

In more disturbing reading news, look at the book Piper pulled off the shelf at my parents' house last week. Seriously, out of all the books on there (99% children's books), that's what she pulls? Yikes.

Mom brain

When I was pregnant, I read a study that showed that expecting moms' brains can shrink up to 7 percent, so yes, you are in fact less intelligent while pregnant. Now what it didn't cover was what happens after pregnancy ... I will admit that I'm pretty sure I lost all 7 percent - at least! - and it has yet to come back.

I've locked Piper and I out of the house. Not once, but twice.

I've lost the keys to our truck. Not once, but twice.

And that's really just the beginning of a long list of stupid actions. At first, I blamed my lack of cognition on sleep deprivation, which seemed completely reasonable. Well, since Piper sleeps about 12 hours a night and has for a long time, that excuse not longer works. I guess I'm left with the reality of being a mom, which I guess means that Piper now takes up almost all of my free gray matter! And looking at her, all naked and happy with her Daddy, how can she not?

Four weeks later ...

In the words of our nephew, holy moly! In the last four weeks, Piper's cut two teeth, been on her first plane ride, met her cousin Ravel, started going to story time at Crandall Library, has had baby play dates, and loves to be propped up standing on anything and everything. She's been busy! Let's back up to the teeth ...

Her first tooth (bottom left front), popped through the surface the day before we left for Colorado. Perfect timing, since I really didn't want her to be fussy the entire plane ride. And said plane ride was intimidating ... I was so nervous about how she was going to be, but she was absolutely wonderful. The baby that hasn't taken a pacifier in months sucked it on both flights out, and in general, traveled like a dream. She did have one meltdown, on the second flight out, but I couldn't blame her. We boarded the plane and it was SO hot. They had the heat cranked to full blast and I was sweating. It was so hot that I literally stripped her down to her diaper and she still got a heat rash. So the poor little thing wailed for a few minutes, probably scaring all the passengers around us, but once we were up and the plane got cooled down, she was just fine. So after a super early morning wake up and lots of hours of traveling, we arrived in Colorado, where Piper got to meet Ravel for the first time and play with someone her own size.

So the travel day was great - and then the next day, tooth number two began to rear its ugly head. Basically she teethed the entire trip and then the second tooth popped out the day before we left (thankfully!) so we had another smooth trip back. And now the two teeth are super cute, about a third of the way in. I love how she sticks her tongue out all the time and moves it around, trying to feel the two new objects in front. It's absolutely adorable :-)

Colorado was a busy and fun trip! Piper made her first visit to an aquarium, went to a pretty spectacular aquatics center where the pools were warm and there was a family hot tub with lots of fun bubbles to watch. Let's see ... she also participated in Copland's musical lesson birthday party (well, she slept through most of that), played with lots of new and different toys, went for numerous walks in the sunshine, and sat through many a photo session. And as for taking pics, we discovered how difficult it was to take a perfect picture of two infants and a toddler. If only they would all smile together!

And now we've been back for almost three weeks and I'm still trying to figure out how I haven't been able to sit down and blog for all this time. In some ways, I feel lazy once I realize how much time has passed, but then again, I think I'm just plain tired. Piper is still taking her 30 minute morning nap, and then maybe a 20 minute midday and/or 20 minute afternoon nap, but those are typically when we're out and about, waking up as soon as we hit the driveway. So we play and play and play while we're home, which is a lot of fun, but when she goes to bed between 7:30 and 8, I am wiped. And still struggling with staying on top of our house and keeping it neat (which it never is ...). And then there's the fact that it's been nice to sit on the couch and hang out with Reid in front of the winter Olympics. If someone had told me how behind I would be in terms of communication, even at this point (7.5 months later), I wouldn't have believed them! But looking back through my pics, I do realize just how much fun we've had and it definitely makes me smile. And Piper totally poses for pictures now, which I find hilarious. Here are a couple of good examples ...


I also realized that I never blogged about deciding to be a stay at home mom and not return to the crazy world of PR, which I've been meaning to do since the fall. Needless to say, I look at those previous two pics and feel like Piper's smile explains it all. Maybe I'll pontificate a bit more about that another time, but for now I'm signing off and turning on the Olympics. Peace out.