Names - yikes

I've come to the conclusion that naming your unborn child is about as big a decision as you can make. It's nearly as big as deciding to have a child to begin with, as both decisions have lifelong, lasting repercussions. How many funny nick names can you think of? What does it rhyme with? Think Seinfeld and body parts ... yeah, it's complicated. Dolores is out, don't worry.

We've had a boy name that we've really liked for about a month - and please don't bother to ask what it is because we're not telling. As part of this tough decision, we quickly learned that everyone has an opinion about just about every name. For that very reason, talking about names with anyone before the baby is born is out. We're going to pick what we like and not hear any stories about how so-and-so knew a so-and-so and that person ended up in jail at the age of 12. No thank you.

So anyway, we've had a boy's first name that we've really liked in our pocket for a while, and then today, we found a girl's first name that we've pretty much fallen in love with. Middle names are TBD still, but at least we're making progress - and who really cares about a middle name anyway? The only purpose that needs to accomplish is that it needs to sound sufficiently important when yelling both first and middle names when the future child is behaving exceptionally badly.

Today was Palm Sunday and my husband and I made the trek to church. Upon walking in, we ran into a friend that I met going through the miscarriage grieving process. At some point following the loss, I realized that I really needed to meet someone else who had been through the same experience and I decided to go to a miscarriage support group at our local hospital. The night I went, there was only one other woman in addition to the nurse. She had just experienced her second miscarriage in four months, and to make life even more complicated, she had a daughter at home whom she couldn't fall apart in front of. We connected at the meeting and have had many coffee dates over the last several months as we've grieved, healed, and grown. She was a lifesaver to me - understanding the dark times and offering just the right words.

I hadn't seen her in a while and it was great to reconnect, if only briefly. The most ironic part was the fact that the priest's sermon today was about suffering, and how when we're going through tough times, we need to surround ourselves with people going through similar experiences to get the support we need. All of this was being said as I sat next to my friend, both of us in much healthier mental states than we were nine months ago when we first met. The other point he made was that without suffering in life, we wouldn't be as compassionate as we are or love as deeply - and we would probably be all too selfish when it came to living life. I agree. I honestly think my husband and I are both better people after last summer, and I'm convinced that last summer's experience will make us better parents this summer. Everything happens for a reason - and speaking of irony, the day I'm due this summer is the same date as the day we found out we miscarried last summer. Hopefully this July 17 ends on a much happier note :-)