Living in limbo

I feel like I'm in a weird spot in life right now ... I'm on maternity leave, but I don't have a baby to take care of. Technically, I guess you could call me a housewife, but the to-do list around the house is pretty much complete and I'm not supposed to be spending all day on my feet anyway. In truth, I feel LAZY, not to mention a little bit guilty. My husband gets up and leaves for work everyday and I get all set for my day of ... well, not a lot. I know I should be enjoying this time and feel lucky that I have the chance to rest and nap at will since I won't be able to do that again for who knows how long, but it's definitely something I'm struggling with.

I will say that it's nice to have time to cook dinner each night and it makes me feel good to send my husband off to work with leftovers for lunch. Having the time to read again also makes me wish I had renewed my Martha Stewart Living subscription, because now that I have time to be domestic (which I LOVE), it would be fun to have some new ideas to run with. I did subscribe to Cookie today so that will be a fun addition to my reading mix!

The baby seems very content to be hanging out in utero for the time being. I continue to have warm up contractions, but certainly nothing serious or consistent. One of my friends today asked me when I would want the baby to arrive if I had control and I honestly don't know ... we're of course excited to meet the baby, but I also know I'm not due for just over two weeks. I also like the idea of holding (although not delivering!) a bigger baby versus a tiny peanut so that's an argument for wanting it to hang out inside a while longer. And does it matter what I think? I know I've learned that it absolutely doesn't, so wishful thinking or not, this one is going to arrive when he or she decides its the right time :-)