Getting bigger by the day

At 37 weeks and 4 days, this baby is getting bigger and bigger! Here are today's photo shoot results ...

Standard profile shot:

Craddling the little one :-)

I think the belly looks a little more impressve without the tanktop ...

One more craddling shot:

Last one - frontal belly shot! You can tell from the shine that the poor thing is STRETCHED.

All's quiet in Queensbury

We had our third trip to the Snuggery at Glens Falls Hospital on Friday, but left still pregnant just a short couple of hours later. Let me back up to Friday's doctor's appointment ...

We went in for our 4pm appointment and I felt fine, but I did notice that maybe I was a bit dehydrated - it had been HOT and when I'm busy, I have the bad habit of not drinking quite as much water as I should. Anyway, they weighed me and I had put on 3 pounds in a week. This I just couldn't understand because I haven't been eating anything crazy (or in large quantities). Then my blood pressure was a bit higher than usual. This, combined with the fact that the midwife could leave dents in my legs when pushing on my shins was not adding up to a super positive conclusion.

It seems that the weight gain and dents could be explained by the fact that my legs and feet were a bit swollen (technically called edema). To make sure that I wasn't experiencing preeclampsia, the midwife asked us to go over to the hospital to run some additional tests. All of my odd symptoms, including the higher than usual blood pressure, could be explained by dehydration, but better safe than sorry. The midwife I saw threatened that depending on the results of the tests, I may be put back on bed rest. Not to be dramatic or anything, but this sent a chill down my spine. Bed rest, again? ARGH ...

So we went to the hospital, where I hydrated, peed in a cup, had blood taken, and was strapped to a fetal heart monitor and contractions monitor for a couple of hours. Luckily, at the end of the non-stress tests, the conclusion was that I must have just been a bit dehydrated and that I needed to be taking it easier and resting more with my feet up. NO BED REST :-) But my lesson has been learned: I may not be on bed rest, but I'm also nine months pregnant and my body is not up for going and going and going for all of my waking hours. So rest more I am!

In fact, starting last night, I have been feeling the same lethargic and exhausted feeling that I felt during my first trimester. Even well hydrated with my feet up, I'm pooped. I've taken one nap today while trying to read a book, and I have a feeling that it won't be my last! Since I've heard this can happen near the end, I'm going to take several peoples' advice and take advantage of my downtime and ability to sleep uninterrupted whenever I feel like it. The house is clean, the to-do list is pretty much done, and I don't want my ankles to turn to cankles!

Already Thursday?!

Now that I'm back on my feet again and filling my days with things that I have been putting off for a while (or at least the 3.5 weeks I was off my feet and was forced to put them off), time is flying! I thought being a housewife and professional nester until the baby comes would mean that time would continue to crawl along at a snail's pace, but the opposite has been true. Somehow, I'm 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and while I've made good progress on my list, there's definitely still work to be done!

At 4am, there were 15 minutes when I thought I was going into labor, and instead of feeling nervous, I became super excited. I woke up with some pretty intense cramps and my stomach hard as a rock. Now, I did have to pee (surprise, surprise) and I know a full bladder can cause a contraction, but after using the bathroom, my cramps stayed. They went away, and came back again, 5 minutes after I had woken up; went away again, and back in another 5. Holy crap. Contractions five minutes apart? Now this must mean something serious.

Or so I thought. After the third one, they went away and didn't return again so I went back to sleep and slept in until almost 8. Damn.

Tonight we have our Tot Savers class so hopefully we'll be a little more knowledgable and ready for the little one, and those inevitable injuries, to come.

And since it's 86 degrees and humid, I do want to note several things that I am thankful for today:

• Central Air
• Real fruit popsicles - YUM
• Having a pool, even though I've yet to get in it this year. I'm going to go check the chemicals now and see where we're at. The water temp was 80 when I looked this morning and I'm sure it's warmer than that now so it's time to take the cover off and enjoy it!

Working on my to-do list

By the lack of posts over the past several days, it may be obvious that I have been back on my feet again, and therefore, not on my computer!

I learned very quickly on my first day off bed rest that I am now very much out of shape, resulting in a seriously sore back at night. Without a doubt, my belly has grown over the last (at this point) almost four weeks and my back muscles are no longer used to lugging the baby around! So my back isn't that happy with me, but the rest of me is super excited to have my freedom again and to have some time to get the house back in order. Well, hopefully we don't end up having too much time ...

Friday was a great day. My mom came over and we hit Target and TJ Maxx to buy some odds and ends, both for the baby's room and around the house. The rain held off long enough for us to enjoy a relaxing lunch outside in downtown Glens Falls, NY (Gourmet Cafe), and then we came back to the house where my mom helped us catch up on laundry and I surrendered to the couch for a bit because my 3.5 weeks of nothing were catching up with me. I ended the day with a great pedicure and then my husband and I cooked an easy dinner - me with heavy eyelids and an aching back. I think I was in bed by 9 ... I clearly overdid it, but it felt great nonetheless.

Saturday we had our birthing class, taught by a 33 year veteran labor and delivery nurse who may have been a bit older, but man was she feisty! She wasted no time beating around the bush (no pun intended) when it came to getting into the nitty gritty details of labor and delivery. My husband and I both learned a lot and the class was a LOT less scary than I thought it was going to be. I mean, there are definitely some not very pleasant activities in our near future, but I just keep thinking of the little one and I get so excited for the big day to come!

We celebrated Father's day by going out to one of our favorite breakfast places - Papa's Diner in Queensbury (I wish there was a link available for this little gem!) - followed by working on the nursery. It's getting close ... it really just needs some wall decorations and the rocking chair. And in our bedroom, the cradle is made, the mobile is attached, and the baby monitor is charged. Today I packed the hospital bag and continued to pick up around here a bit to get the house back in order, but I wish we could pull out a crystal ball and know when this little one was going to come ... obviously not possible, but oh it would be nice! I'm so anal that sometimes it drives me nuts, but I think this is more about being excited than trying to be super organized. When you're little and waiting for Christmas to come, at least you know the day and can count down the days leading up to the 25th. Now we wake up each day and today could be the day or ... maybe not. Or each night I go to bed wondering whether tonight will be the night the contractions wake me up. I don't like to admit to being impatient ... I think it's more a matter of I can't control any of this. Patience!!

Itchy mama

I swear this little one likes to keep things interesting! This morning I woke up with an incredibly itchy abdomen, and after a shower, I could see that my stomach had little red bumps all over it. A rash for no reason ... great. So I called the doctor's office, again - they really should be on speed dial at this point - and I learned that random belly rashes can happen during pregnancy. Good to know. Luckily, the itchiness has subsided, but if it returns, I now know that I can take over the counter benedryl and can apply a prescription cream that I need to go pick up from CVS. I also now have another doctor's appointment on Friday to make sure that it's going away/gone, and if it's not, then they want to see it. Good grief!

The great news is that tomorrow is my last day of bed rest - HOORAY!!!

The little one is jumping on my bladder as I type so I'm taking that as my hint to wrap up this short post ... itchy mama out.

Thoughts on pregnancy

When my friend Katie was up visiting last week, she asked me how I felt about being pregnant. I found it to be such an interesting question because to me, the answer is obvious: I absolutely love being pregnant. Even with the ups and downs, of which we've had our share, it's such a unique, incredible experience. One that doesn't compare to anything else and that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

Of course, last summer's miscarriage totally changed pregnancy for me. It took away the innocent/ignorant bliss of the first trimester and replaced it with a scared tension. Every day I would wake up and wonder if we'd be pregnant when I went to bed. I worried constantly, and the changes my body went through didn't make me feel much better because those had all happened the time before and obviously that hadn't ended well. My husband and I would talk about our nerves, and each trip to the doctor would have me in the waiting room with sweaty palms and higher blood pressure than usual. Even into the second and third trimester, basically whenever we had a milestone that could show that something was gravely wrong (for example, ultrasounds), I was a nervous mess. Even yesterday when we went in, the baby was super active and moving all over the womb when the midwife was checking the heartbeat, so the heartbeat was high and I could tell it was higher than she liked. It settled down when the acrobatics settled down, but for 30 LONG seconds, we held our breath and I imagined the worst. And then there's bed rest, combined with the stress of preterm labor ...

Yeah, we've had our challenges for sure, but none of that changes how I feel about this little one or how I get a rush every time he or she gets the hiccups. Or what it feels like to be able to see, touch, and experience the baby karate chopping my insides, or jump roping on my bladder. It's unbelievable ... and I think all of the stress and all of the nerves actually make the positives that much sweeter and this overall experience that much more incredible. I love resting my arms across the top of my belly and having the baby push back on them, presumably for being even more squished in there than it needs to be. And I love looking at my belly in the mirror and seeing all of the vasculature that has come up to the surface of my skin. No, I don't feel sexy and I never did throughout the pregnancy, but that doesn't bother me one bit. I love being pregnant because I love our baby and every experience, both positive and negative, is a blessing as long as this one comes out healthy. And assuming labor and delivery doesn't scar me for life, yes, I'm looking forward to doing it all over again.

Two more full days of bed rest and then the restrictions are lifted! I've started to make my to-do list, but I also feel a lot less stressed about getting it done than 3 weeks ago. The past 20 days have left me with a weird sense of calm, and I say weird because I typically love to-do lists and being as organized as I can be. And maybe part of it is that bed rest hasn't left me having a ton of energy, but I don't feel stressed about getting things done before the baby gets here anymore. I'm just excited for my husband and I to become parents and bring this little one home. We'll figure the rest out as it happens ...

Checkbook has been found!

My husband just walked in with the HSA checkbook - it was also in his truck.

I'm nearly 100 percent positive that the expense check is not in the truck.

I do feel a little better though :-)

An unsatisfied control freak

Two and a half weeks into bed rest and I'm frustrated. I feel like I have lost control of my house, which pushes my sanity right to the limits. We've had lots of wonderful help in and out of the house, which has been great and we appreciate every single person that has cooked a meal, done a load of laundry, watered my flowers, etc, but admittedly I'm a bit of a control freak - I've blogged about this before - and the fact that I haven't been able to take care of our house myself has resulted in key items being misplaced. My husband asked me this morning where my car keys were - they aren't in my purse and therefore I have no idea. The HSA checkbook? Also MIA. The expense check from Make a Wish from the last wish I worked on that needs to be deposited? No idea.

I realize that may sound like a short list of things to not have a clue as to where they are, but to me the combination of the three, most likely combined with pregnancy hormones, has me feeling like I have no control of my house/life right now. I know my most important job at the moment is to keep this little one cooking, and thankfully it's stayed put so far, but I am definitely feeling the stress and anxiety that disorganization gives me. YUCK.

My husband just walked in with my car keys. He found them in his truck ...

Ignorance is bliss

As of today, I'm 35 weeks pregnant so only a week more of bed rest to go! I've been a bit crampy this morning, but nothing too consistent so I'm hopeful that a hospital visit is not in our future for today. So far, so good!

I've been wanting to cover the topic of cord blood banking and newborn screening for a while, but it's a pretty hefty topic to tackle (in my opinion), which has left the task daunting. I think what makes it so hefty is that we now have these expanded options (at a cost, and some of the costs are quite significant), so if you knowingly have the option and opt out of this extra security or knowledge, what does that say about you? This is the battle that I have personally struggled with. For example, you can bank your baby's cord blood and keep it just in case a genetic condition is diagnosed. Now, my understanding is that most cord blood isn't even beneficial for the actual child, but potentially siblings or other family members ... so do you take out this extra insurance policy, for thousands of dollars, just in case?

And then there's newborn screening. We live in New York, a state that tests for quite a few rare diseases (I believe 50 in total), but there are four that are not screened for. So do we pay the extra $250 for those four diseases, that are SUPER rare and without treatment options? They aren't even recommended by the March of Dimes (NY does test for all of those, and some extras), so who is the organization that is saying they should be screened for? I honestly don't know. It was something the cord blood banking company threw at me when I told them we weren't going to bank our baby's cord blood. And why didn't they bring up this option before we had made that decision? Then it seemed like they were just trying to sell me something, anything, and it felt like going to Babies R Us and being told I needed a diaper wipe warmer (by the way, I don't think we need one and don't have one, nor want one) and if you don't get one, you're a bad mom. Sales people are sales people.

Ugh.

Our decision has been no to both, in part because it was honestly too much to think about! Now this may sound lazy, but there are so many other things that need to be researched and learned during this 9 month period and I honestly found it overwhelming to add one more thing. And due to the multiple thousands of dollars of costs associated with cord blood banking and storage, I didn't think it was a decision that we should make without doing our homework. And certainly, not everyone can afford to do this, so what does that say about our healthcare system and our society, if it is so important?

And what if something happens to our child or maybe the next kid and we could have made a difference by taking out, what is essentially, this extra insurance policy? Then I will feel incredibly guilty, but from what I've heard, guilt and parenthood are two words that go together often.

Pictures - finally!!

I spent an extra 30 seconds on my feet this morning, added a swipe of mascara, and did a quick photo shoot with my husband. After nearly 5 weeks of no pics, here's documentation of 34 weeks and 5 days!

Straight up profile shot of the little one in there ...

Cradling to try to give size a little more perspective (because I think it still looks smaller in pics) ...

View from the front...

The closest I'm getting to naked on the Internet while 8.5 months pregnant...

As you can see, I had my hair chopped right before bed rest started. When I actually spend some time with it and blow dry, it doesn't look like a "mom" haircut, but I didn't even shower this morning so it is what it is for now!

Based on these pics, boy or girl?

Junk food = health food?

I'm going to define health food as food that makes me feel better ... today, for me it's been mac and cheese (homemade at least - thank you honey!), pudding, and Cape Cod reduced fat potato chips. Now I do realize that this was not the best lunch, but I am feeling MUCH better so I'm not going to worry about it. I promise to eat veggies before the day is done.

In other news, I'm starting to feel a lot more ready for the baby to come! I don't know if having the time to watch NUMEROUS episodes of TLC's A Baby Story has had any impact, but whatever the change, I'll take it.

The healthcare factory

Due to the preterm labor, I now go to my OBGYN practice every week and yesterday was that day. I always see a nurse first, who checks my urine for protein and sugar, weighs me (I lost two pounds - but probably really only a pound because it was the first appointment to which I've worn shorts and a tanktop), checks blood pressure and the fetal heartbeat (160 yesterday - the highest it's been). It's a quick interaction and then we see whoever is scheduled to check me - either a doctor (not very often) or a midwife.

Yesterday I saw a doctor, whom I saw two weeks prior, pre any preterm labor symptoms. Now, I realize that I haven't seen her since I've been to the hospital twice, but all of this information is in my chart. After she asked me how I was feeling, she asked me if I was familiar with the signs of preterm labor ... um, do you think you could at least look at the chart before walking into the room? I think it shows just how you have to be your own advocate when it comes to the healthcare system, because many practices are run like poorly run businesses - no one really has any responsibility or accountability for me. This frustrates my husband to no end, and while I certainly do not find it comforting or reassuring, I've accepted it. They see too many people every single day to remember me or care. It's such a bummer that many practices have turned into this, but I guess healthcare would be even more expensive if that wasn't the case. How do you fix it? I wish I had the answer to that question ...

I did confirm with the doctor that as soon as I hit 36 weeks, the bed rest restrictions are lifted. Her answer, absolutely. As soon as we get to 36 weeks, all bets are off. To prep for that, I'm going to make a brow wax appointment and pedicure appointment for next Friday - now fingers crossed that we make it that long! I've felt "off" since I woke up this morning so I'm hoping that doesn't mean we end up in the hospital again later. Hopefully it's just the change in weather that's contributing to that feeling - instead of bright and sunny, it is dark and rainy. The little one is moving around as I type so that's a good thing, and I'm pounding my water and not breaking any of the bed rest rules. I'm doing what I can, now I just hope this little one does what it needs to do and just stays cooking!

Hospital visit #2

Today I'm 34 weeks, which is a big milestone as far as preterm deliveries go in our area. From here on out, we should be good to go to deliver at our local hospital instead of Albany as the baby should be big and mature enough to be dealt with in Glens Falls. Phew! Now ideally we will make it another couple of weeks, at least, but not having to head to Albany (an hour away) is certainly progress.

Back to the reason for the title of this post ... Wednesday evening, all was fine and normal until about 9:45 when I started to feel crampy again and something just wasn't right. The cramps were different than last week, they weren't as well defined I guess I would say and I thought that I might have just been having some GI issues. Our instructions are to wait an hour if I have cramping before calling the doctor's office so I told my husband I wasn't feeling great and we started the clock. After an hour, I didn't feel much better, so I spoke with a nurse and she recommended that we wait another hour, just in case it was GI after all. In the next hour, I noticed another change - my stomach was getting hard as a rock every once in a while. We were guessing that these were contractions and I was feeling my uterus (which takes up my entire mid-section at this point) contract. Boo. So just before midnight, we headed into the hospital to get checked, again, for preterm labor and see what next steps were.

On the way to the hospital, I was so nervous my arms and legs were both shaking like crazy. There were a few reasons for my nerves ... the first being that we both knew this baby was not ready to come out and breath on its own yet. The second was I honestly thought that as long as I did nothing for three weeks, that we would breeze through bed rest so this was a curve ball. And I think the final reason for being nervous is I still don't feel like I've properly nested and part of me just doesn't feel ready to bring a baby home yet (we didn't even have mattress pads for the cradle on Wednesday! They came yesterday ...). So here I was shaking like a leaf as my husband drove the ~4 miles into the hospital. Luckily it's a short drive.

We arrived and they hooked me up to the fetal heart and contraction monitors. The heart beat sounded great (yay!) so baby was fine, and they weren't seeing my contractions on the monitor, but they could feel them with their hands (when my stomach would get hard) so I was repositioned and monitored for a while longer. The midwife also checked to see how dilated I was. Luckily, only 2cm again, so that hadn't progressed. With my legs out straight and laying on my back, the contractions became much more obvious on the machine, and at about 2 in the morning, they decided to give me a shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions because they were not chilling out on their own. I felt the effects of the shot almost immediately - my stomach relaxed, but in addition, I felt extremely jittery and my heart rate increased by a ton and I could feel it beating in my ears. I was warned this could happen, so it didn't freak me out, but it certainly wasn't super comfy either. Oh well, as long as the little one was okay.

While I was uncomfortable in the hospital bed (they are terrible, you would think they could be a bit more comfortable!), my husband became familiar with the pull out bed from the chair in the room. Luckily he had thought to pack a bag while I was on the phone with the nurse before we came into the hospital so he had comfy clothes to sleep in and we both were able to take out our contacts. We forgot the toothbrush - next time! Speaking of which, we should probably get a bag packed since we don't know when this is actually going to happen ...

After a fitful night of not much sleep, but thankfully no more contractions, a shift change occurred and I think we may have been forgotten for a while. I got up to use the bathroom at some point and felt my stomach get rock hard again. Damn. I was worried they would make us stay forever since that happened, but since it wasn't accompanied by any sort of cramping, they finally let us go just before 11. I couldn't wait to come home, crawl into bed, and catch up on some sleep!

We learned a valuable lesson though - the hospital has wireless.

So now I'm back on the couch, with a somewhat revised bed rest attitude. I'm now open to the possibility that we may need to head back to the hospital many more times before 36 weeks to shut down the process, and that this is okay. Hopefully it doesn't happen, but it's totally possible. And I also need to get more comfortable with the fact that I may not get to nest anymore before this baby comes, and that has to be okay. Yesterday morning when we were in the hospital, we heard a newborn baby cry and my husband and I both looked at each other and said, "awww ..." That baby sounded so new, small and absolutely precious. Having nested or not, I hope we are great parents.

Day 7 - Time is flying!

Well we tried to take a new profile picture this morning, but I quickly learned it's hard to look cute while on bed rest. My hair was still wet from the shower (no blow drying these days), I didn't have any makeup on (that's hard to justify right now) and in general, the cuteness factor was just really low. So, since basically no one is seeing me these days, here's what you need to know: the baby is growing so my belly is bigger! We're going to try and take another picture tonight when my hair is dry as we do want to document all of this for the little one to see someday!

We're seven days into bed rest, and to be honest, it hasn't been that bad. Of course it's not thrilling by any means, but I was shocked to realize this morning that this was day 7. One week is almost done!

So how am I spending my days? I'm a huge fan of to-do lists - I like the organization that it imparts on my life and I love to be able to check off tasks I've accomplished. In fact, I enjoy the crossing off so much that sometimes I'll add items to the list after I've done them just so that I can cross them off. I'm super anal and I know it. So I've made a list and I do a few things everyday. Of course I could probably accomplish everything in an hour if I just ran down the list, but I like dragging it out as I know I have plenty of time on my hands and it's nice to feel like I've accomplished a little something each day. Today it's renegotiating our home owner's insurance and calling to remove the business features from our phone. Holy moly Wednesday's a big day!

Probably the biggest change that I'm still getting used to is having maternity leave start very abruptly. We went into the doctor's office on Monday for a check up, where we were told that I really shouldn't be doing any work at this point. I hadn't been doing a ton since I went on bed rest anyway because it is hard to type while laying down (I'm propped up on the couch to blog - shhh), but it's also weird to just stop working and transition everything immediately. Work is typically such a big part of daily life (lots of to-do lists there!) and it's done for now ... in a way, I'm thankful for the abrupt transition as I think it actually makes it easier from a number of perspectives, but it's still an adjustment. I'd like to say I'm excited about daytime TV, but in truth, I find it to be pretty terrible. I don't like Oprah (sorry, but I find her annoying, although I do respect her influence) and the Today Show absolutely goes to hell as soon as Kathy Lee and Hoda come on. Thank God for DVR, Netflix, a laptop, and lots of good books!

I did get sucked into A Baby Story on TLC yesterday and I discovered that I might be a bit more hormonal than I used to be. Well first, the delivery process freaked me out more than it ever has in the past. That's for obvious reasons ... that could be us in a little over two weeks and the lady looked absolutely MISERABLE ... but the other part that threw me off was that I got completely choked up when the baby came out and they put it on the mom's chest and the parents started to get emotional. I have NO background on this family (I turned the show on after they did that part) nor a connection to their little one, but my eyes were filled with tears and I had to take a deep breath for sure. I'm not usually a very emotional person, but for the first time, I started thinking about how emotional of a process this may be. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time and he or she is going to be here before we know it! It's going to be great.